First Person

27 November 2020

This article is reproduced from the blog of someone who is seeking asylum in Glasgow, and he wants to remain anonymous.

A small room with a bed… Windows that do not open fully. Poor quality food being dispersed on a time table over which we had no choice… Only two washing machines for 100 people. Leaking roofs… Being left penniless in a country where we are not even allowed to work. I didn’t know for how long we would be tangled in that hostel room. On our first day in the hostel, the MEARS officer told that we would be there for an indefinite time. Is it possible for a human-being to get his head around “no certainty”? The day becomes the month becomes the year becomes the decade… Our mental faculties started to break down. 

        Because the system, maybe unintentionally, was designed to break people as vulnerable as us. Our sense of self and identity started to fragment. Even though we stayed strong, we declined.

        We went from fit and capable to talking about suicide ideation. When your life is the only thing that you have choice over in the end, you’d probably contemplate it, too. Locking a traumatized person up in a hostel for an indefinite time… It just cuts through everybody’s emotional and psychological state. It just diminishes… 

I survived McLays… Fellow asylum seekers at McLays! Please stay strong and do not let despair prevail. Beautiful days are awaiting you ahead.

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